dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
