i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
