they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Someone shattered a urinal.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
