so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
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After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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