margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
