we're chasing vodka with high fives
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
