I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize