i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My ass is underappreciated
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
