be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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