So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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