But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
