You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
