bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
