is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
