ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
