This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
