Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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