would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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