She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
