I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I can't turn off my feet"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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