The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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