where am i from again
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
