Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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