Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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