just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She's the barista slut.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
