this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
