So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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