All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You're like the curious george of whores
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
