whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
