I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
