Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
