this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
