My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
