a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
