Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
