Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
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