They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I cut my penus on the lid.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Randomize
