All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
