Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
