I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
