Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
