problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
