haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
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