Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
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you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
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He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.