I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
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You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
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When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(