my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.