the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.