I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
foreskin is a definite game changer
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.