this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
