Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize