Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
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After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
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Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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