dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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