Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
