The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
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Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
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Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
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