I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Me too!
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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