Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
