Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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