U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
