i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
