you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
