If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
