is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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