One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
