So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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