Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
