stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I think my moral compass just broke
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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