would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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