I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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