I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
